Wednesday, February 15, 2006

UPS and me, mano y mano, and I think I won

I caught the little bastard red-handed today, in case anyone wants to know. I had two days of "missed you slip" anger building up so I let him have it when I saw him sneaking up to my door with his little slip ALREADY MADE OUT to announce that I had missed his third due-dilligence attempt to deliver my goods and services. Due dilligence my ass!

I'll tell you, I really felt I was channeling the spirit of good-naturedness as I called this delivery man out on his deceptive little "missed you!" slips.

"Hey, you weren't even going to knock!" I cried as I tore open the door and assaulted this man with my insane person hairdo. It is important to note I had not yet showered, not wanting to miss his knock for the third day in a row!

"I've been waiting here for four days!" I exaggerated at his back as the broken man tried to escape to his truck. He didnt say much, except a few futile attempts to convince us both that he had rung the bell.

I mean, whatever. No he didn't! And I let him know by signing for the package EXTRA HARD. If I would have been signing with a pencil it would have been broken and boy that would have showed him not to mess with me! Yeah, he was "just about to knock" when I opened the door but we both know that isn't true. That's why when he said happy holidays I said it back but VERY QUIETLY.

I also sighed a lot.

No sense calling to complain about the guy (I would feel terrible if I got somebody fired) but I think you'll all agree that I showed him what's what in the kind of passive aggressive way that is absolutely impossible to argue with.

That's right, I'm all up in your face, Mr. UPS Man, all sighing and shit. What now!?


Blogger mrhappypants said...


1:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home