Tuesday, April 04, 2006

If you thought the giant picture of my toes was disconcerting, wait 'til you get a load of what Metro is offering tourists this Cherry Blossom season!

So I get on Metro mid-morning today amid tourists, students and the occasional commuter still straggling after the 9AM rush and as I'd already read the Post, I had no choice but to read the advertisements displayed on board Metro, which is much like reading the sides of cereal boxes. Not exactly literature, but hey, we can't all be Shakespeare. In the midst of the local merchants pedalling their wares, (you know the standard assortment: Crate and Barrel, Tiffany's, the Dadaism exhibit at the national Gallery) what to my wondering eyes should appear but the poster shown at right?

Holy crap.

I mean, I'm all for softcore porn in the guise of an "urban erotic tale," but can you just picture the conservative Christian couple from Iowa with thier matching fanny packs fielding one of these likely questions from their chubby, hot-dog eating offspring:

"Mommy, what's happening in my pants?" or
"Can we come to DC every Spring?" or
"Isn't 'Noire' usually spelled 'Noir?' and isn't it meant to depict some sort of nihilism or existentialism in addition to the dark sexual overtones?"

So I thought maybe I could facilitate activities at the Metro Complaint department by offering up this website for their forwarding pleasures:

Ask Noir (Apparently).

So kiddies, have at the Cherry Blossoms this tourist season here in DC. If you're riding Metro and you ask the right questions, you just might learn something.


Blogger Lonnie Bruner said...

Hmmm. Faye, do you have some kind of oral fixation lately?

That ad doesn't seem too bad to me ...

1:54 AM  
Blogger Isaac Washington said...

No comment.

1:33 PM  

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