Sunday, October 28, 2007

Halloween 2007

We had a good idea this year, and wanted an audience.

In fact, D. Ignatious Mammal and I had been trawling for some halloween costume party action for a month, with so little luck that we actually considered abandoning our hermit-like ways and throwing our own party. By Friday evening, we still had no plans, but my young and awesome sister, the KillerIrishRobot, was in town for the weekend so we had added incentive to find something fun.

With help from the Lady Bruner, we ferretted out an NPR party that sounded promising. By the time we secured the destination, however; we'd left precious little time to arrange our costumes. D. Ignatious Mammal and I had previously decided to go as Hall and Oates but hadn't by that time sorted any of the details. After careful consideration of our physical attributes, we determined that I would be John Oates and the Mammal would be Daryl Hall.

I won't lie. Part of the reason for this is that, while I can no longer fit into the black leather pants that seemed like such a sound investment in the mid-nineties, Mammal can. Yes, that's right -- he can wear my pants. It could be worse!

But I digress.

I was very excited about being Oates because, clearly, I had the better fodder for hilarity...or so I thought. Because it turns out a geometric patterned button down shirt, a generous helping of bare chest, a pushed up tweed sportscoat and a pair of too-tight for teevee leather pants all topped with a wrong, wrong, wrong mullet wig (cut and styled ourselves -- oh, the shame of it all!) is all it takes to turn the Mammal into a complete 80's rock idol. Like this:

Private Eyes are watching you...from behind your houseplants:

Concerned with the fact that I could find no images illustrating Oates' footwear preference, I took my chances on a pair of Chuck Taylor high-tops underneath tight, pegged jeans. I added the requisite sleeveless shirt and finished it off with a hair, mustache and eyebrow triad capable of absorbing all the light from a room. No offense to any hairdressers out there, but seriously, it's pretty easy to cut hair. I didn't even need a mirror:

The total package:

During the cab ride over, the Mammal and I discussed the multidimensional humor of our costumes. For instance, let's say someone catches Hall giving Oates a little kiss on his bare shoulder. Shocking? Well, not really. Let's face it, we're merely confirming what everyone has long suspected about this duo.

Because the Mammal is something of a Hall & Oates........enthusiast........I peppered him with questions throughout the cab ride. Imagine my dismay at learning that all the great lines were taken by Hall, with Oates contributing only a modest mix of rythm guitar, help on arrangements and a few choice back-ups here (no can do!) and there (watch out!).

What do I get to sing? Do I sing: "I can't go for that, can't go for that..." Do I say that part?
(no, that's Hall's part.)
How about "ooooh here she goes, watch out boys she'll chew you up!" Is that me?
(no, that's also Hall...)

At least I got to wear the mustache.

Also fortunate: we weren't going to spend too much time "in character." We left that to the multitalented KillerIrish. A true child of the youtube generation, she decided on Liam Sullivan's Kelly. Not only did she have the look down, she knows each of the videos word for word. After forcing us to endure several viral videos, plus a few reenactments of her own, the three of us set out to find costumes, cutting a wide swath across suburbia that included two Targets, two Alexandria wig shops owned by two small, vicious women, and, finally, the Halloween Superstore we'd been seeking.

Though temped to leave her beautiful, natural "hair" showing (see below), K-Irish stuck with the Kelly plan, and thanks to her ability to fit into children's clothing and her acting skills, she had the best-executed costume of the evening.

These shoes rule. These shoes SUCK!!!!!

Evidence of an extremely risky gene pool:

The party itself was good. We waited ages for a cab, so by the time we arrived, everyone was drunk. Nonetheless, the advantages and pitfalls of an "NPR party" were simultaneously demonstrated during our very first conversation:

"Scholar" to us and LadyBruner: "It's amazing how their focus promotes syntax over context..."
"Georgetown Basketball Player" (breaking in): "Did somebody say 'syntax?' I hear the word 'syntax' and my ears perk up'"
Lady Bruner: "Why, are you a grammarian or something?"
"G-town basketball player": "Linguist, actually."

I'm not kidding; that conversation actually happened.

All in all, we had a great time. Our host, Richard Simmons, was so devoted to his character that he jazzercized while carrying out his hostly duties (such as refilling the seriously wicked "sangria" that seemed to have two main ingredients -- frozen fruit and jack daniels).

Having had great success as Hall & Oates -- a number of people actually recognized us although others thought I was either saved by the bell's screech (in his porn days ) or as one of the lesser known Marx brothers -- we now want to restage the duo for another party. Perhaps we could dress up to hand out candy Wednesday night, and instead of giving out candy, give out a Hall & Oates greatest hits cd?? (Tempting as this sounds, I don't think we'd be very popular with the children and the parents would probably try to keep their kids away from D. Ignatious Mammal as long as he was lurking about in those leather pants). I know I would.

I guess we'll stick to candy and maybe Hall and Oates can have a reunion tour this time next year...

Some pictures:

Lady Bruner as a superhero who hasn't been invented yet (and about to get b-slapped on the stairs):

Lady and Lonnie B, Me, Irish, and Mammal:

We ran into K Fed and one of his kids. But is it Britney's or Shar's?:

Daft Punk were as happy we recognized them as we were that they recognized us. Note that they had a boombox playing a mix of daft punk songs. We were going to do that, but thought it might be a pain.

Millions of suspicious fans can't be wrong...


Anonymous andy gibbs said...

A good reworking of Hall & Oates! You guys actually look like them. I hope there was karakoe involved!!

2:20 PM  
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Anonymous Frances said...

Visiting a Halloween superstore is actually fun especially if you go with your loved ones.

12:58 AM  

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